The Lord outlines basic life principles within what we call the Sermon… Like No ratings yet.

“7 Keys to Better Relationships” by Mary Loudermilk.

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).
At some point in life, all of us have dealt with an impossible person who makes our lives miserable. Whether overbearing, rude, petty, or demanding—fill in the blank—they are stressful to be around. It may be a boss, a coworker, a fellow church member, or even someone within our family. Their negativity drains us emotionally.

When such people come into our lives, we must choose how to react. How we respond can either escalate the problem or lead to a more peaceful relationship. Maintaining a calm demeanor without lashing back may not be easy, but it is biblical. It is also part of our Christian witness.

The Lord outlines basic life principles within what we call the Sermon on the Mount. A careful reading of Matthew 5-7 reveals keys we can use to build better relationships. His words may seem difficult to practice. After all, He advocates turning the other cheek, going the second mile, loving our enemies, blessing those who curse us, and praying for those who despitefully use us and persecute us. Our natural inclination is to do the opposite in each of these situations, but He has called us to a higher standard.

What steps should we take when dealing with a frustrating, vexing, or demanding person?


Show humility. We cannot respond as if we are superior or a better person. Philippians 2:3 instructs, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

Show respect. We may feel they do not deserve it, but humility and respect work hand in hand. Matthew 7:12 says we must treat others as we would like to be treated. Focus on their good points—and yes, each person has some.

Keep quiet. This means no complaining to others, dropping sarcastic comments about the person, or splashing it across social media. Matthew 18:15 tells us to “go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.”

Keep calm. Some people seem full of anger, and it spills over onto those around them. It is easy to respond in a similar manner, but that only fuels the situation. Remember, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

Don’t retaliate. Don’t try to “get even.” We are taking God’s role if we do. (Read Romans 12:17, 19.) Allow God to handle it in His time and in His way.

Walk away. Sometimes the wisest course of action in a situation is to remove ourselves from it. When it is not possible to physically walk away, we can say as little as possible rather than provoke the situation. Even the Lord used this tactic (Mark 3:6-7).

Live biblically. When our relationship with God is healthy, our relationships with others will also be better. “When a man’s ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Proverbs 16:7).

The best way to deal with troublesome people is to make them our friends. Difficult? Yes. Possible? Absolutely!

Mary Loudermilk of Hazelwood, Missouri, enjoys traveling, meeting new people, and spending time with old friends.
(Info from: UPCI Ladies Ministries –

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